The Bloke Indoors, Katy, Claire and Anna all think there is something slightly weird about me. Why? Because I wouldn’t sleep with a woman.
Now they don’t think that all women are full on bisexuals, but they do think that given the opportunity, pretty much any woman would jump at the chance for some girl-on-girl action. I really wouldn’t. I don’t know what it is but women just don’t turn me on. Is there something wrong with me? They seem to think there is, and I’m a little worried that they may try and test my claims.
I tried testing myself the other night (always experimenting!). Lying in bed, on my own, I was playing with my favourite toy and began a line of thought to see what led to the best kind of feelings and prompted me to change pace during play – quite a good experiment I think you’ll agree.
I began thinking of being on a massive bed, cool cotton sheets beneath me, completely naked and slightly snoozing on my own when I feel the weight of someone else on the bed, turning so that I’m on my side I see there is a woman. She’s tall, curvy and is just as naked as me. She has breasts larger than mine, but I’m not jealous, she moves close to me so that we’re just touching; our nipples gently pressing against each other’s. Her hair is tied back out of her face to reveal her face. She has a look that says she has a secret – following her gaze I see her hand drifting across the small triangle of pubic hair she has before sliding down in-between her now open thighs. My hand rests on her breast, I trace her nipple with my finger, watching it grow harder beneath my touch. I squeeze her nipple gently between my fingertips before letting my hand slide down her body. She moves in to kiss me, her soft lips opening mine to let her tongue explore my mouth. My hand replaces hers between her thighs, feeling her warmth and wetness along her inner lips I find her clit hidden beneath her tiny hood. Her hand slides into the same position on me and we find a rhythm together, while our legs interlock we kiss and use our fingers on each other, our breathing quickening with our movements…
In the real world now, not a lot is happening. I’m not exactly turned off I’ll admit that, but I’m certainly not getting any more pleasure from my undercover antics than I was before I started to think about my mystery woman.
So lets wave goodbye to her.
The door opens and in walks The Bloke Indoors. We freeze. He gives a coy smile; “She’s mine, off you pop” And, since it’s make-believe, she simply disappears. The Bloke is fully dressed in work clothes. I sit up and begin to unbutton his shirt, pressing my body up against his chest as his shirt falls open around him. I kiss him gently on his lips, he pulls me into a more passionate kiss and my hands move to his trousers, I can feel his hard on through his fly and quickly unzip him, desperate to feel him, my hand slides down his cock, pulling back his foreskin to reveal a glistening head.
Mmm why would I want a wet pussy when I could have this? We stay like this for a while, kneeling together, enjoying a kiss like long lost lovers, my hand stroking him slowly before it gets too much and I want him properly. I pull him back on the bed by his open shirt and make him lay on his back. Kneeling above him I suck him into my mouth as he lies back on the bed, his trousers still somewhere around his knees. As I begin to trace my tongue around him, tasting him, drinking him, devouring him, his hand rests on my bum, stroking me, sliding down between my legs.
Me: “Leave me I’m playing”
Him: “So am I. Keep sucking.”
I curl my finger and thumb around the bottom of him like a cock ring and follow the movements of my mouth with it, sucking him in long slow strokes, letting my tongue circle around the his swollen head as his foreskin rides up over the top. All the time his fingers are playing with me too, pushing deep inside me from behind, rubbing against my g-spot, making me shudder with pleasure.
Him: “Get on top. I want to feel you come on top of me”
In the real world? Well there is a bit more of a reaction than to the idea of the woman – ‘nuff said.
Conclusion: I’m strictly heterosexual in my mind. I suppose to really prove it takes physical proof but we’ll see about that another time.
Off out now. See you tomorrow!